The Pain of Adoption

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4 January 2015 614 views No Comment

There are so many sources of pain, so many reasons that justify the need for our Writing for Wellness program. Here’s Dana’s story:

I was adopted at five days old. When I was three, my mother read me a book that told me I was special. Being adopted meant that I was chosen, and this was better. I would walk around telling everyone I was adopted because I believed it was this wonderful thing.

When I turned twelve, I realized that being chosen was only half the equation. The other half was being given away. The mother who gave birth to me, the most vital person to my existence, had abandoned me. I was not like the other children whose parents had wished and hoped and worried over their births. I was an unwanted occurrence, an error in judgment, a mistake. These thoughts shattered me, and I fell into a pit of doubt and self-loathing.

Years later I found myself at a business picnic with a man and his wife. My adoption came up, and I watched as the woman grew pale and still.

” I had a baby when I was sixteen,” she whispered, ” I wanted to keep her, but I wasn’t able to do it.”

She looked up at me, and her eyes were pleading. She said, ” I gave her away to give her a chance.” Then she began to shake uncontrollably, while her husband soothed her. He turned to me with a look of helplessness and said, “It is a sensitive topic. Every year on her daughter’s birthday she is inconsolable.”

After he finished, I walked away on unsteady legs. I staggered for a time until my legs gave out and I fell to my knees, sobbing with abandon for a mother I did not know.

Home » Family Matters, Lessons Learned, Personal Experience, Private Anguish, Your Story/Your Legacy
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